Transitioning from a participant to a mentor to a member of staff

I started with Wild Earth as a participant on their second course. At the time I was struggling with a fear of social settings, especially in large groups, but thankfully my interest got the better of me. These are all just people like you, I told myself.

I’d been at odds with myself for a, always comparing my personality and capabilities to others for better and worse, sometimes quite jealously. To compensate I would show off what I know, especially when being taught in a subject I was already familiar with, which annoyed me not only because of my concern for my image but also because I disliked my behaviour. I ended up working past that around the time I started learning to become a mentor. For a long while during participation I was otherwise directionless. I was unemployed, took no responsibility for my future, and the pace at which I physically worked on my personal creative projects was neck and neck with a snail’s. It was all quite depressing, really. But gradually, thanks to support and conversation from staff, I had examples to mirror, and started to regrow my own positive and kind outlook. It became clearer and clearer to me that the way you present yourself to the world doesn’t just build you up, it helps others too.

My respect for fire increased as did an understanding of bushcraft through learning more practical skills and safety. Making a fire for the first time is a very special moment, you get to see how what was dead plant material you’ve selectively gathered from the landscape can feed a tiny spark or ember so that it quickly matures into something so bright and warm you can literally feel satisfaction well up inside you. The campfire is naturally a great place to sit around, it can cook your food, boil your water and warm you up, returning the energy you spent in the cold while finding its fuel and making it, it becomes your social hub in a camp, and you quickly learn what a luxury it truly is. There is a connection to fire deeply ingrained in human minds. Wild Earth provided an opportunity for me to finally commit to connecting to nature on a deeper level. Sensory expansion by using peripheral vision, focused hearing and moving slowly through an environment wasn’t itself a new idea to me, but actually doing those things would have taken me a lot longer to try (and probably even longer to learn) had I not been guided caringly by staff. Along the way we were taught a knew knot for tying down a tarpaulin that can be untied and tightened or loosened easily. It has become indispensable during my own camping trips, and I even use it in the garden for tying up plants.

New sources of inspiration came thick and fast, boosting my confidence in self leadership and creativity. While I was making friends, I found an almost class clown like role in the group rewarding. Humour’s all well and good, but there were times I was a distraction. With enough self-awareness and the honesty of others I was comfortable to assess that behaviour. That, coupled with the inclusivity of a group where everyone is given a platform to speak openly, encouraged me to actively listen to people, and I gained deeper appreciation for other people’s lives, their hardships and their luxuries, as well as my own. It reshaped my perception of life, further encouraged the growth of a positive outlook, and increased my kindness to others. Staff encouraged each of us to take on small responsibilities at during sessions like helping to set up rooms and washing up. It was grounding. I felt ready to focus on how to grow more and change aspects of own life for the betterment of myself and the lives of family. I even started to meditate to reduce stress and to focus my mind.

I definitely experienced a dip in confidence before the mentor courses started, my routine had broken down and I became slightly embittered from this. I went into the mentor training course with open mind. I was apprehensive at first because it had been a while since I was last on a course and I was a little bit nervous from the idea of meeting a whole new group, but I was still interested to take on more responsibility and learn to be more comfortable around others.

It turned out the group was completely fine, I enjoyed their company, befriended them, and many who were on the course still come to Wild Earth. They’re lovely people and I value their company greatly. Getting to know them afforded me a greater scope for understanding and empathising with different types of people, which has since helped inform my practice in youthwork. Around that time I saw a rise in my creativity again.

Each mentor was assigned a role in our team. I was given responsibility for time keeping, taking down quotes of the day, leading the group quite often and scribing in group activities. I was urged to become more helpful, so made effort to focus on people care and session chores i.e. washing up/drying dishes and making people drinks. I had started to really enjoy doing so at home, so it fit well during sessions.

My skills improved thanks to practice and teaching by staff.

I became actively committed to meditation in my personal time.

The mentor courses were pivotal in my growth as a person and a youth-worker. I started feeling good about myself because I had become the kind, nurturing person I always wanted to be. This dramatically improved relationships with my family, friends, and hugely impacted how I approach strangers.

When I became a staff trainee, I found continual interest in logistics and specifics of youthwork taught to me by staff, things I’d wanted to tap into during the middle to final stages of mentorship. I was, and still am, very eager to learn more. I was sent on a youth work course provided by Aptitude Youth Work in the spring of 2020, which was absolutely fascinating! Despite the inconvenience of the COVID-19 lockdown, I was able to get the work done over the internet and loved every minute of it.

I have to be honest though, the social isolation got to me, and my efficacy in sessions slackened, which carried on into the work we were allowed to do when some of the restrictions were lifted. It’s been a little difficult getting back into the swing of things, but I’ve been cracking on, getting noticeably better, and after coming so far I’m not going to turn back now.